I had the day off today because my daughter had an appointment for root canal this morning. She’s eleven. I didn’t even know eleven year olds were capable of having a problem that would even require root canal, but I’m completely phobic about anything to do with dentists so what do I know?
About an hour before we left for the appointment, the doctor had us give her two Valium. Those started to work in about 20 minutes and I thought we were going to have to carry her in a bucket to the appointment because she was so relaxed. I, on the other hand, made Tom go into the procedure with her because the sound of a dentist’s drill causes me to lose consciousness. Sometimes, if it SMELLS like a dental office, I can’t even go inside…you know…that dentisty smell. Fortunately, this place didn’t have that strong smell and I wasn’t forced to puke into my purse for the hour and a half that I waited in the waiting room while being tortured by The Disney Junior channel. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for pediatric oral surgeons. This guy was a gem. However, when I’m the only one in the waiting area and I have to listen to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse “HOTDOG” song a couple of times, I begin to wish for either the remote to change the channel or for a speeding truck to come through the waiting room to put me out of my misery.
I finally went to the window and they told me I could go back to the room if I wanted. I didn’t hear any drills, so a grabbed my stuff and headed back to where I could see Tom sitting in a room. When I came through the door, Emma was lying on a reclining chair, covered with a satin and minky blanket, watching TV on the ceiling and wearing the nitrous oxide mask. She waved at me like she was on a float at the Rose Parade. I couldn’t believe it. When I went to the dentist as a kid, the guy practically put his foot on my chest and was not exactly pleasant. There definitely was no TV on the ceiling at the office that I went to. They finished up with the procedure and took off the mask and Emma sat up and giggled. In fact, she laughed all the way home and then passed out in bed for two hours.
So, I think that was much better than I predicted. I was sure that Tom would be dragging me unconscious to the truck with a puke filled purse. I was SURE that Emma would throw up all the way home and that there would be screams of pain from the room while they did the procedure. Instead, she laughed at everything she saw on the way home and babbled on about people who have phobias about ducks and people who have phobias about phobias and people who have phobias about big words. She even used the word “paradox” in a sentence and I know sober adults who can’t do that.
Dental science has apparently come a long way.
It rained ALL day yesterday and by “RAINED”, I mean it was pretty much a constant torrential downpour. I had let the chickens out in the morning during a brief period of drizzle and they’d all merrily scooted out into the run to have their morning round of “I’M IN CHARGE…NO, I’M IN CHARGE” with each other. Every morning…same thing….they all run outside and then spend 15 minutes trying to prove to each other how big and bad they are. I usually just stand there and watch and it always ends up the same way with Cluck Norris reminding each one of them that HE is in charge and then they all settle down and look for delicacies on the ground that might have appeared overnight but usually haven’t.
When I came home from work in the afternoon, it was simply POURING. Thankfully, the chickens had decided that the 2 inches of water in their run was not any fun to stand around in and the run was vacant. I waited until there was a slight break in the rain and put on my coop shoes and dashed out to the chicken coop. When I swung open the barn doors, they were all huddled together in the shavings looking a bit damp and decidedly forlorn. Nobody likes a wet chicken…even wet chickens.
Since they were all inside, I thought I’d just shut the run door since it was supposed to rain heavily through the rest of the afternoon and evening. Of course, when I entered their enclosure, they all got up and stampeded out the door clucking wildly which sounded oddly like they were laughing at me for thinking that I could close the door and keep them inside so early in the day. I yelled “You aren’t going to LIKE IT out there!”
Did I mention it was POURING again? So I just stood there and waited.
They were outside for all of two seconds before they all stampeded back inside.
I tell them and tell them things and they just don’t listen.
They stood around looking indignant and shaking their feathers to rid them of the raindrops. I felt sorry for them and gave them a bunch of scratch to dig for in the shavings and when I left, they were happily scratching in the shavings already having forgotten that they needed pontoons on their feet if they wanted to go out into the run at any time in the near future.
This morning, the 2 inches of water in the run was gone and they were able to stampede through the run door and into the watery sunshine that had finally made an appearance. The run was a little bit wet, but covered with green fallen leaves which they sorted through and checked for tastiness. I watched the daily argument about who was in charge which was quickly ended by Cluck, who I think is a little over the whole thing happening every day. When I walked back up the path to the house, I could hear them happily clucking to themselves with an occasional “peep-peep” from big, bad Cluck.
Thank goodness…back to business as usual…which is good for me because I don’t know how to put pontoons on chickens.